


The Worst Idea Josh Ever Had (or "In Which Tyler Stocks Up On Supplies")

by duplighoul



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Awkward Situation, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-12
Updated: 2014-01-12
Packaged: 2018-01-08 12:32:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1132692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duplighoul/pseuds/duplighoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So maybe Tyler isn't the best person to talk about foresight with.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Worst Idea Josh Ever Had (or "In Which Tyler Stocks Up On Supplies")

This might be the worst idea Josh ever had.

 

Tyler is standing, shuffling his feet every so often, in front of a shelf full of.

 

Stacked to the brim with.

 

Tyler swallows the spit in his mouth, afraid if he attempts to speak he’ll end up drooling all over someone’s shoes.

 

He’s cradling his phone to his chest and blinks at the products on the shelf. Okay, _stacked to the brim_ was a bit of an exaggeration. But the shelf isn’t huge or wide so there aren’t a lot of –

 

Tyler’s phone vibrates and it nearly gives him a heart attack. He hesitantly checks what the message says, keeping part of his phone against his chest while pulling the top half away from it.

 

‘J: _why are you taking so long dude_ ’

 

And Tyler, Tyler wants to just grab the fucking things and get out so he can get this over with, but every fucking atom in his body decided a mutiny against him, so now he’s standing in front of a shelf in a convenience store a block away from his apartment, and Josh keeps texting him fucking emoticons and they’re all the same stupid angry face.

 

He quickly types out ‘ _i can’t do this why did you make me do this_ ’

 

Tyler doesn’t have time to look at Josh’s reply because he hears the old lady at the counter do a not-so-subtle cough that makes the hairs on the back of Tyler’s neck stand up.

 

He’s going to kill Josh when he gets home.

 

Instead of reading Josh’s reply, he says ‘ _there’s an old lady at the counter josh i cannot do this_ ’

 

He stalls awkwardly by re-reading the names on the boxes, feigning interest. He can’t just stand there and do nothing, the poor old lady would laugh and tell all her old lady friends at their old lady sewing club or –

 

‘ _Actually, what do old people do?_ ’ Tyler thinks absently. He thinks he felt his phone vibrate, but he’s too wrapped in the thought now.

 

Without thinking, he types out ‘ _what do old people do for fun???_ ’ at Josh. While waiting for Josh to reply something equally intelligent, he reads the messages Josh sent.

 

‘ _tyler seriously hurry up contrary to popular belief we don’t have all night_ ’

 

‘ _that is fucking hilarious i would so come and get you if i didn’t think you were lying_ ’

 

Tyler’s shoulders sag, he thinks of typing ‘ _why would i lie this is serious don’t laugh at me_ ’ but before he could, Josh’s reply comes into view.

 

‘ _do not ask me that question right now tyler i swear to god_ ’

 

Tyler realizes the implications behind “fun” and, as if he weren’t blushing already, his face heats up.

 

Before he could think of a reply, Josh says ‘ _ok you wouldve been here by now if you just grabbed the condoms and took your sweet little time walking back here, up the stairs, and into your bedroom in fact i would go as far to say we would be done by now tyler if you honestly cannot do this im never coming over again_ ’

 

And Josh is so, so mean.

 

Mean with a point, however.

 

He doesn’t tell Josh the last bit, but he types out a frown-y face and hopes he reads between the lines. Or, in this case, colon-left-parenthesis.

 

Tyler fiddles with his phone before grabbing a box that has familiar colors he remembers seeing at Josh’s apartment and turns around a little too quickly. He takes a few steps towards the counter before thinking ‘ _Do we have lube? Did Josh bring his? Did he specifically tell me to buy a bottle?_ ’

 

He stops in his tracks and swiftly turns into the closest aisle, crouching slightly because he’s aware that these shelves don’t match his height.

 

‘ _Great,_ ’ he thinks. ‘ _Now I have to walk back there_.’

 

He takes a few breaths and, before he can convince himself otherwise, springs up and grabs a bottle without looking at the others and heads to the check-out counter.

 

The old lady isn’t looking at him, which he thanks her silently for, but when he gingerly places his items on the counter, she turns her head and reveals she’s _smirking_ at him.

 

Tyler’s stomach falls through the floor and enters a sort of limbo state where it’s just floating in space and all the aliens from other galaxies and planets come to gather and point at it.

 

It’s an annual thing – ‘ _Do aliens have a concept of time?_ ’ – and it brings the extra-terrestrial community together, laughing at Tyler’s stomach contents.

 

The old lady is chuckling under her breath as she scans the items and, seriously, Tyler wouldn’t mind an asteroid hitting this convenience store right about now.

 

She says, “Gonna have a wild night, eh?” Which makes her crack up even _more_ and makes Tyler wish he had stocked up on condoms before.

 

Tyler’s looking anywhere but the counter, and she must sense this entire debacle is incredibly uncomfortable for him, so she bites her lip to keep from laughing.

 

Before telling Tyler the amount he needs, she looks him right in the eyes (even though Tyler is looking at some rather interesting … okay he has _no clue_ what those are,) and hums a little.

 

“Y’know, my grandson is about your age.”

 

Tyler would really, really like to die now.

 

“That’s, uh.” Tyler says.

 

“He’s really nice and I think you two would look absolutely _adorable_ together.” Her smile is so sincere, Tyler feels guilty and thinks about saying ‘” _Y’know what, he sounds great. Here’s my number!_ ”’

 

There’s a moment of silence where she’s just smiling at him, and he’s so close to just handing her the ten dollar bill in his pocket and letting her keep the stupid change and running away, but then she starts laughing again and says “Oh, I’m just kidding! He’s married.”

 

She takes a few moments to collect her breathing before smiling slyly and says “Besides, I think you’re a little preoccupied with someone currently, yes?”

 

Tyler feels the tips of his ears light on fire and nods.

 

Her face goes soft, eyes remembering a fond memory so far away before focusing on Tyler.

 

“Well, here’s your receipt, honey.” She says, handing him a small sheet of paper.

 

Tyler furrows his eyebrows, is about to say “ _But I didn’t pay,_ ” before the old lady interrupts him with a pat on the shoulder.

 

“Go on, get outta here!” She’s laughing (it doesn’t sound so intimating this time) and Tyler doesn’t know what to do so he mumbles a “thank you” before walking away with a plastic bag in his hand.

 

He doesn’t even realize that it’s a plastic bag until he gets to the door of his apartment. He thinks ‘ _What,_ ’ and then his door opens.

 

“Finally,” Josh says, pulling Tyler inside.

 

Josh starts undressing him, but Tyler is trying to wrap his brain around a few things.

 

“She tried setting me up with her grandson,” Tyler says. Josh is kissing his neck.

 

“Did she give you his number?” Josh asks.

 

Tyler shakes his head and tilts it slightly, giving Josh better access. “I think she was mocking me.”

 

Suddenly his legs feel cold and he’s being led into his bedroom.

 

Josh doesn’t reply, instead kissing Tyler passionately. When they break apart, Tyler’s too stunned by the sudden emotion in the kiss to say anything.

 

“Are you done?” Josh asks patiently. Tyler blinks and slowly nods his head. Josh smiles and kisses Tyler again, this time a little more tame.

 

When he whispers “ _Finally,_ ” against Tyler’s mouth, there isn’t anything tame about it.

**Author's Note:**

> i stumbled upon the idea for this fic while eating toast and talking with my sister  
> you're welcome.


End file.
